IIF........
Well.. It has been a while since the thoughts drafted out of me ... Well finally I guess I was feeling gushed and the thoughts took shape... This time its more drive by an inspiration I would say ... rather than the general roaming thoughts... Although the concept was roaming around in my heads, the presentation was more from the inspiration .... Well the inspiration comes from Rudyard's "IF" .... Here.. I have tried to pen down my version of IF... with a technical modification to it ... IF is now.."IIF"...

IIF .... Dated 01/08/2006 10:51 PM
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If not for the challenges,
Facets of life would I have missed ?
If not for the faults,
Lessons would I have not learnt ?
If not for the dirt,
Would I have not learnt purity ?
If not for darkness of the night,
Would I have not felt the brightness of the day?
If not for scroching sun,
Would I have not felt the soothing shades?
If not for lost time,
Would I not know the length of a second ?
If not for a lost chance,
Would I miss what opputunity is ?

Not all learnings - learnt thru experiences,
But if around me - I open my senses,

If and only If, I can open my eyes
To envision but not just see,
If and only if, I let my ear
Listen but not hear,
If and only if, I let my mind
Innovate and not memorise,
If and only if, I let my touch be
Emotional and not physical,
If and only if, I feel my heart
Empathise and not just sympathise,

Would I be a worthy human,
And not jus another soul

If and only If...............

I was sitting late on a sunday night ... Somehow a thought of taking up to write something was on the cards ! Never thought it would be this ..... Well this is again one of those thoughts that had got crystalized with days.. Chisseled with time... and finally carved into a poetry !!!! These are my own interpretations of something very personal with me... and I guess... sometimes... We do send our condolences to the "THEN" alive part of us ... One such occasion ...



Condolences.....
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Held a prisoner on the night’s plight,
My heart takes a lonely flight,
Far across, the end of tunnel, see I some light,
Hopes,not in mind nor the heart, not in slight,

Awaiting the Sun’s rise, Not I,
Awaiting the morning breeze, Not I -
Awaiting the thoughts to set, I am,
Awaiting the emotions to fade, I am -

The heart wakes up to control,
The emotions running far and wide, on a roll,
The eyes blindfold of the present,
While the heart settles to the past,

The mind has sunk deep,
Deep into my emotions depths,
Surviving the drown is a lost hope,
Jus clinging on to my time’s rope,

My little heart looks at the wounds,
Caused by words that knew no bounds,
Hiding the pleasant moments behind,
Feeling the present gone blind,

The sudden wave from the pasts,
Crushing the emotions into pieces,
Mind gone empty in thoughts,
Sat I still ,watching the little deaths,

Hour after Hours,
Minute after minutes,
Second after seconds,
A gentle tear rolls ......
“Condolences to the once alive.. EMOTIONS”

The wait ends....

Welcome to the lost journey …. Well I met up with this image that kind of rekindled my thoughts on writing… A girl with a drap of white cloth around her!!! Nothing more.. nothing less !!! Standing on a beach …. It jus ran my thoughts wide and across.. This ended up in the follwing words.. flowing out !!!!

The Sinful Wait
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As the evening breeze smoothens,
My heart tends not to lighten,
Amongst the waves on the rocks,
Counting the thorns in the heart,

Lost with the winds of time,
Flying back into memoirs of past,
Haunting is the reality of present,
Ever daunting is the thought of future,

As the evening sun sinks in,
As the breeze hugs around,
As the loneliness creeps deeper in,
The emotions arise, engulf and surround,

Winds engulfing my untouched curves,
Passion running deep in my nerves,
Sweetness - awaiting to be taken,
Mystic with time, around me my hands tighten,

Being one with nature,
Is this what meant the writer ??!!
Lost seems the silent shudder,
Words unspoken but heard clear,

Around me feeling, the mystic hands,
Into me, the tenderly felt kiss,
Surrounding me, the gentle caress,
Arousing in me, the missing presence,

Feeling ashamed not of my sliding dress,
Happy to share the sinful curves,
Creeping in the little thought of guilt,
Stops the slide with a gentle slit,

My wait shall continue,
Continue till my pirate sails the sea,
The sea of life beacons me in,
In.. I shall wait .....

Await to be taken !!!!

Mystery Loves……

Love ….. One word for which my mind has never been able to narrate a
definition consistently over a period of time. The constant struggle
between the heart and mind when one has never been able to take control of the
other completely… even for a shorter period of time. The constant struggle
between the mind and heart has mostly left the heart –

a joker !!!

Most times I guess the mind has never been able to logically accept
the heart’s emotions… nor my heart has been able to wholly accept the mind’s
thoughts. On the Valentine’s day …. Here I let my
heart take a little stroll .. while
my mind watches with envy the little walk down my memory lane …..

A bright sunny morning when my heart started flowing my emotional thoughts
…. Call it an agony of the past or the pleasureable
time ….. Those were .. may be
the countable times when my thoughts could relate to my emotions… and my words
could picturize the flowing thoughts… penned I .. one my favorite poems of all times… Matching up with the valentine day’s speciality,
I am letting my thoughts run back on the emotions that led to this poem… A
simple play with numbers and words to express my love… The first few lines describes a imaginary
state just to emphasize that even if there exists something beyond the ordinary .. the love persists…
giving birth to a new shared sense .. love sense… The
present senses no longer under my control … while to organs awaiting
to meet… to become a sweet family of four …Three – So divine to the Hindu
community… The divine 3 Gods.. 3
goddess…. With no willingness to be 2… Jus
waiting to become.. with my love.... ONE !!!

The Countdown…. BEGINS!!!!

The Count Down!

Staying in the planet TEN,

Walking on the cloud NINE,

Till we live our life number EIGHT,

A new sense, love sense, numbered SEVEN,

Under your control are my senses SIX,

Waiting to meet are my organs FIVE,

Wanting to become a family of FOUR,

With the blessing of the divine THREE,

No longer willing to be TWO,

Let's become ONE....

Welcome to my word’s residence ………..

Mystery pens

My first sincere attempt to start one of my most beloved hobbies ..Expressing myself thru words !!! Words had always beena boon and curse to me !!! It is words that helped meunderstand - if not anything more - myself …. Well it has still been words thathave deserted me when all that I needed was a simple flow of them ….
Looking down my memory lane ….I started of with my scribbling on a sheets that flew with time.... Moved on to a littlesophisticated diary which helped me pen down my “then” private thoughts, andwatch them in future..... Shifted to a more poetic version that helped inexpressing not jus my expressions, my feelings, my thoughts...... But jus about every single thing that I saw outside me…That’s when I realized that even I CAN admire the little things in life….. Maybe feeling the breeze on a lonely night …. The morning rays …. The gentle tear… the little fear.. A warm little smile … A mile intothe skies…. One little star ….. The emotional wars …..Well it would keep going on and on to an endless list… This is an attempt torevisit my earlier expressions… thoughts… and my little emotions that made me MYSELF….

A long gap for almost a year .. I guess… since wordsflew out of me... Well I am here.... Hoping to solve my very own mystery ...

.
The Mysterious Loss..... .......Loss of words.......
The Journey to unravel has jus....... BEGUN !!!!

Welcome Back to a....................

LOST JOURNEY !!!!

Looking down my memory lane,
At times when mind and heart, all gone insane,
When my search begun to discover the self,
An attempt to unravel the hidden inner self,

Sentences translating thoughts,
Thoughts that were then private,
Poems revealing emotions,
Emtions that were hidden and inarticulate,

Little things mattered the utter most,
When words that gave life to emotions,
Where a tear and star felt equidistance,
Smile and mile were distinct not distant,

Lost with the winds of time,
When heart stopped all its rhyme,
Searching the mystical flow,
Beginning again with a humble bow,

“WELCOME TO THE MYSTERIOUS SEARCH OF MY LOST SELF”